Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Old Dog, Good Dog



Old Dog, Good Dog


The vet says, “She’s as tough as nails,
She’ll hide her pain.”
“You have to tell her when to stop.”
But how do you say no,
To the pad of eager paws at the jangle of keys?
Waving tail, clouded eyes, hopeful gaze.
Puppy-like zest encased in frail, arthritic body.
How do you say no to an old dog, a good dog?

She hates to be left behind,
stands at the door and barks,
Or at the bottom of the stairs,
head cocked, eyes aglow, waiting.
For me to have a change of heart,
a guilty conscience, or a sudden burst of strength.
She knows I will return, but still 
she hates the parting.

I hate it too; wish I could taker her with me
Everywhere – The grocery store, the library,
the bank, to work and back.
At night I contemplate an elevator
as she watches me climb the stairs,
her old bones too weary to make the trek.
I wish I could carry her around with me always.
Wish that she could grow just old enough, but not too old.
Never too old.

She follows me, my shadow,
or her eyes do, tracking my progress,
From kitchen to computer, and back again.
Alert for a deviation, a change in my route,
ever keen for the next adventure.
Though her eyes are blue with cataracts, her hearing dim,
She knows what I plan, sometimes before I do.
A walk in the park, a trip to the barn,
a car ride with no firm destination in mind.
 “I may be old,” she seems to say, “but I’m not dead.”
“Yes,” I agree. “And I’d like you to stay that way.
Not dead, I mean.”
She scoffs, “Let me decide.”
Walks to the door, head high, though slightly tilted.
Car keys jangle.
Doors open to scents, wind, possibilities.

 At my side, an old dog, a good dog,
steps out into the golden light.
She feels me hesitate, 
Turns to me with a knowing look-
“Life goes on, until it doesn’t.”
I smile, and follow.
The old dog has taught me well.